Remix of the Day

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRREEEEEEE

"Gangland" : Helping your everyday American understand your local gang's jargon

So I was watching "gangland" on  The History Channel last night, and this one was actually on the gang life in ANCHORAGE, ALASKA!  Evidently there is actually a large population of displaced California Crips in Anchorage, along with rival bloods.  The best part however, other than the obvious retarded interviews and Inuet 'Gangstas screaming random area codes at the camera was when they would throw up these slang terms along with their definitions, which were read by an extremely white, conservative sounding gentleman.

Thanks History Channel!  Now on my walk home to Bushwick, I'll understand what everyone is talking about!

D to the mother fucking C

In my 23 years on this planet I had traveled up and down the East Coast hundreds of times, for lacrosse, touring with Phish, and vacations, and countless other reasons, yet I had never stopped in our great nation's capital, Washington DC.  This past Memorial Day  weekend, a fitting time, I made my first trip with Lee and spent the weekend at her fathers house, sans father.   

I can honestly say it is one of the nicest cities I have ever been to.  I don't know what I was expecting,  but it was NICE.  Super clean, very diverse, both culturally and arhcitecurally (is that a word?), and the perfect amount of southern charm.  Very preppy, eh, but all around pretty 'hip'.  We spent a lot of time in Georgetown and laying around her pool drinking/tanning/bbq'ing, but did venture downtown to the mall and caught a bunch of the sites (see pics below), which was very cool.

We drank by the waterfront one afternoon at a big open air bar.  Had cocktails and dinner the next day on the Verandah at Congressional (see: BALLER), drank at some exclusive Russian vodka bar by the embassy, and had an all around Love 2 (not) Hate time.  

It's the type of city that would be awesome to live in, but not for another 10 years.  It's just flat out...nice.   I'll definitely be heading back soon.

****HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEKEND*****

-Jumbo Slice Pizza-slices literally about 3 times the size of my head.  Fucking absurd.  And tasty.

-Being called a Jonas Brother by a frat boy at a bar.  Painful on so many levels...

-Congressional Verandah cocktails.  Felt like I was sippin wine on a Colombian coke lords manor.  Gem.

-Seeing Greg Olcott and his huge, ugly head

-WWII memorial.  Sobering.

-Fish Tacos

-"Warm out today.  Warm out yesterday.  Warmer today..."

                                                      Van Gogh at the Smithsonian

                                              Some Savo attempting to hardbody the CIA

                                                                             Aww

                                                            This house is White

Sick

TimeBomb time lapse from Mike Hill on Vimeo.

Things I'd Rather Be Doing Right Now...

-drinking another glass of wine (yay for hour long lunch breaks!)
-lying down in the park
-lying down in my bed
-actually working
-finding something on the internet that I haven't already discovered
-literally anything else than what I'm currently doing
-listening to "Little Secrets" by Passion Pit.
-murdering a homeles--

...Hold the phone! I CAN listen to "Little Secrets" right now. Homeless dude, today is your lucky day.

hattip: P.H.Miserable:

Long Weekend

Friday

6:00p.m.-Leave the office and grab an R train down to Prince street to hit up the beverage center for a rack of PBR's and Blueberry Lager for Lee.  Already carrying a full bookbag, wearing Levis that breath worse then an obese coal miner with a pack-a-day habit.

6:16 p.m.-Realize this was a horrible idea and that I let my affinity for Cig Handsome cloud my judgement.  Sweat begins to poor and I contemplate taking a piss on the side of a Chinese restaurant.

6:17 p.m.-Decide against the public urination and turn up the volume on my ipod to distract me.  Run into a portly Asian woman rounding a corner too fast.  She picks up the pace immediately in the opposite direction.

6:25p.m.-Sweats pouring.  Arrive at the beer store after taking a wrong turn on Chrystie.  They tell me they're closed, I tell them fuck you (nicely).  Buy a case of Red,White n Blues and a 6 of Blue Point for the boo.

7:08 p.m.-Arrive at Lees.  Muscles Ache and drenched in sweat from carrying 40 pounds of booze 15 blocks in 80 degree weather wearing jeans.  Hop in the shower and curse Cig Handsome and his stupid birthday.

8:30 p.m.-Arrive at Officers apartment, sans girls, with all the booze.  Commence with heavy and aggressive drinking.

10:oo p.m. -Drunk.  Full of pizza and pride, meet Cogchill out front where we take cabs to Pier 69 and the Frying Pan.  Ahhh, summer has arrived.

10:30 p.m. First few pitchers out of the way, round of shots, which no one finishes except for me.  Pour the remaining shots into my beer, have a brief moment of self doubt, followed by pride, and chug.   I'm a champion.  I am un-stoppable. 

11:15 p.m.-  Dance-off!  Have a 5 minute dance battle with some freak who looks like Jerry Garcia and Al Jankowitch had a love child and fed it angle dust.  He claims victory.  I claim he sucks, shake his hand and decide he needs this more than I do, conceding defeat.

12:00 a.m.:In cab to another bar in LES, realize the birthday boy is passed out on my shoulder,  and tell the cab driver to turn around.  

12:30 a.m.-Lee's apt.  Too drunk and exhausted to be ashamed of how early the night ended and  think of anything but the sweet surrender to sleep.

Saturday

11:30 a.m.-Depart Lee's with Cig Handsome.  Meet Cogchill outside  and head for what promises to be an interesting brunch.

12:00 p.m.-First drinks are served at the Italian cafe on 3rd.  All you can drink Mimosas, so we put our testicles to the side and channel our Real Housewives of NYC (In actuality I can't drink Bloody Mary's, so I drink Mimosas much more than I'd like to admit).  Actual food is an afterthought.  We're here to rock.  We in this bitch.

1:00 p.m.-Getting wasted.  Things are going as planned.   Eating as slowly as possible now, trying to keep the free booze flowing.  They've at least about 4 bottles of Champagne solely for us, and that plus the fact that I woke up still drunk leads to an overwhelming sense of well being.  

1:20 p.m.-Finally are handed our check, which their way of saying get the fuck out of here and stop scaring the other patrons.  Feeling like we've gotten away with murder for how cheaply I just got drunk, I call it a victory and leave a fat tip.

2;00 p.m.-Sipping Bud Lights on the Officer's balcony discussing deep philosophical nuggets such as Vegas and taboo sex acts.

3:30 p.m.-Crashing.  Head back to Bushwick for a shower and R&R.  Jamaican beef patties, New Ports and grape drink help us revive enough to make it back to Manhattan by 8:oo.

8:05 p.m.-Grab Espressos by Union Square and walk up Park to Murray Hill.

8:20 p.m.-Drinks outback of Underground while Cogchill tries to talk his mother through transferring cash into my account, as he's "left his debit card at home" (not the first time).

9:00 p.m-More drinks on Officer's balcony accompanied by the Up in Smoke Tour DVD (don't ask).

12:00 a.m.-Arrive at Fiddle Sticks.  Much drunker than I realize.  After my initial freak-out over how crowded this place is with bro-clones hawking girls, relax and start ordering double jack n gingers.  Things are looking up.

1:30 a.m. to ??? a.m. -

From here on out don't remember much.  Outside talking to some music producer and bullshitting him about my role at my company.  Offer him  my card and some bad advice.  Go back inside to find Cogchill in a fight with some girl because she made fun of his shirt.  He called her ugly.  Girls don't like this.  I apologize for him.  He hugs me.  He leaves.  I get drunker.  Lee looks gorgeous.  I almost fight an Asian (allegedly).  I scream on the cab ride back about pizza that I will eventually have someone order, not pay for, and not eat.  Sleep.

Sunday

11:30 a.m.-Breakfast with Lee.  She looks cute.  I look like a train-wreck.  I eat a ton, feel horrible.

3:00 p.m.-Attempt to get Star Trek tickets: Sold Out.  Buy Angels and Demons instead.  Mildly disappointed i get over it with a large popcorn, soda and sour patch kids.  I am fat.  I am a loser.  I feel o.k. with that.

6:00 p.m.-Movie was "eh".  Return to Lee's and have her rub my upset stomach.  Wonder why it hurt?

7:00:  China Town.  Weird Chinese place with neon pink lights inside everywhere.  Immediately I am scared.  Lo Mein arrives at the table next to us that looks like heaven.  Relief washes over me.  I am happy now.  We eat.  I feel worse than before, yet content.  Walk around the block for some ice cream.  First time I've done so in almost a year.  Guy comments on my cone outside "cool ice cream", which makes the hundreds of dollars and months I've taken off my life all worth it.  

11:40 p.m.-Bed with Lee.  Exhausted mentally and physically, this is exactly what I need.  Good weekend, good night.  Happy birthday Cig Handsome and Magstress.

NEXT WEEKEND:

Lee and Miserable go to D.C.  

Shaqtastic

A few weeks back I brought you the news of Emil Hircsh crossing into the world of music.  Today I bring you another celebrity, this one hailing from the world of sports.  Shaq has already proved his worth as an actor ("Blue Chips", "Kazaam"), both HIGHLY respectable movies (I actually did like "Blue Chips" , Nick Nolte you rule), and now he proves to us his mastery on the ivory.  Scroll up to around 1:20 sit back and enjoy.

Results of All You Can Drink Sushi

-Being obscenely drunk before you should even be pre-gaming

-Almost getting hit by passing motorcycles

-Power bombing your lovely girlfriend on the hood of an Altima (according to Officer).  It was in jest!

-Bad sushi (with the exception of spicy crunchy tuna)

-Getting in serious fights over non-serious things, like how much you hate the placement of a bouncers stamp or the way the bartender is looking at you

-Extreme inebriation

-Fun

-A passive aggressive attitude that may or may not work against you (must be the Sake & Beer combo working against each other)

-Texting a girl you barely know you want yo f&%k her with your donkey dick (Officer)

-Her replying "EHHHHH AWWWW"

-PHENOMENAL sex

-PHENOMENAL hangover

L2H Verdict:  Make it happen

This pic ain't so bad either

AMAZING (Pics of the Day)

                                                Thank you so much Pete Fallon:

Song of the Day

These two are some good s*%t.  Look for the album dropping soon.  Love this movie, love this song.

Pic of the Day

"Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you..."

Emil Hirsch Does Designer Drugs?

I came across an interesting link the other day.  It was to a MGMT "Electric Feel" remix that a group called Emil & Friends produced.  After contently listening to the choppy, sampled out take on E.F., I was intrigued to say the least.  It was the best re-edit of the song I'd heard (other than Justice's) dropped.  Come to find out, the group is Emil Hirsch's, as in the 4 foot tall movie star who's griminess in  Alpha Dog made you cringe and homosexuality in "Milk" made you, well, not?  (pause)

There are buckets of celebs who try to cross over into music, but it always ends up some cheesy, typical indie or pop sound and it's almost always a failed experiment.  Hirsch however goes at in a whole different way, making modern synthy tech-lectro pop (I think I just coined that phrase).  The MGMT remix aside, there are a few sick tracks available on their myspace that only make my respect level grow for him (unfortunately for Emil, it didn't make HIM grow as well).  Bonus points for having such a tripped out, ridiculous myspace that's so retarded and seizure inducing it makes it cool.

It's refreshing knowing that there are super-rich actors out there that actually have taste, and aren't afraid to use it.  Emil may be the first ever true Hollywood rock-star (Mickey Avalon aside...of course), and L2H salutes the Speedracer in his newest endeavor.

Emil & Friends - Electric Feel (New Version)